


Casefile Zero; Shirazumi Lio

by Jigoku_kun



Series: Love(is)sick [3]
Category: Kara no Kyoukai | The Garden of Sinners
Genre: Character Study, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, F/M, Gen, Mental Disintegration, Mental Instability, Narcissism, Unreliable Narrator, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:09:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25826440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jigoku_kun/pseuds/Jigoku_kun
Summary: Shirazumi Lio's thoughts concerning himself.
Relationships: Shirazumi Lio/Kokutou Mikiya (one-sided), Shirazumi Lio/Ryougi Shiki (one-sided)
Series: Love(is)sick [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1783147





	Casefile Zero; Shirazumi Lio

**Author's Note:**

> And here goes another contribution to my fave.

Casefile Zero; Shirazumi Lio

Lio had always been confident in himself, even if that wasn’t obvious to other people. Why would it be? He was always slinking away somewhere in the back, he never initiated a conversation, he actively avoided other people, he ate lunch alone, he never made eye contact. Surely he must be shy. Or was the right word here " _aloof_ "? It fit better, though it was still wrong.

Staying in the back meant less chance to be seen and therefore having to deal with people. Having to be close to them, possibly even with physical contact. Just the thought made him shudder.

There was no reason to start a conversation. What would they even talk about? Lio didn’t care for their woes and interests. The same was surely the truth vice versa. If anything, some of his interests would result in uncomfortable glances and talk behind his back.

The more he avoided other people, the less reason for them to see him as a threat. Someone to talk badly about. You can’t talk badly about someone you barely know, right? It also meant there was no one judging him and the way he moved, the way he took in his surroundings in an unnerving fashion.

One of the last things he wanted was for someone to watch him eat. Watch him force down his lunch while clearly hating every second of it. Watch him gag on the vegetables. Watch him scrunch his nose up at the spices. Watch his mouth water at the meat, only for him to turn green afterwards, looking moments away from throwing it up, even though he devoured it with such ferocity.

And his eyes, oh, his eyes. The bane of his existence. He never understood; why they were this way. He wasn’t emotionally dead, contrary to popular belief. His emotions were just muted, not as apparent as those of other people. He could still be happy, angry or sad. But his eyes never reflected that. They never reflected anything. Because they were dead, creepy, disturbing, unsettling, **_more fitting on a corpse than a person_**.

And yet, Lio was still so much **better** than anyone else. He couldn’t explain it, even if he wanted to, but that was the unmistaken truth. There was something about him that made him superior to those faceless masses he was forced to deal with every day, as if he was part of them. But he wasn’t. He was above them, an evolved being. Only something was missing and he couldn’t lay a finger on what exactly.

A partner? An equal on his side to rule over the rest? But Ryougi Shiki rejected him. And it was fine, she was right after all. He was **_weak_**. Something was missing. ~~Something. Something. Something.~~ Kokutou Mikiya was a respite, but not what he needed ( ~~ _he told himself that enough that he was finally starting to believe it, and yet he still needed the other, but he really shouldn’t-_~~ ).

And then the alley, and the blood, and **_oh god he is dead what now I don’t know what to do I need to get rid of the body but how what would be the best way?_** And then the enlightenment. And Araya-san. Oh how he **_hated hated hated hated_** that man.

But above that he was grateful. He finally had what was missing. And now he would be able to gain what was rightfully his. Now, he was finally truly **_strong_**.

You’ll look at me now Ryougi Shiki, right? I’m not weak anymore. **_We match_**. We’ll be together, ok? I’ve already decided for you, but that’s also ok, right? We’ll be **perfect**.

* * *

His eyes weren’t dead anymore.


End file.
